Just a bit of angsty waters ahead, don’t sweat it I’ll be posting both chapters so we can speed through it.
Just Loving You
Yumi PoV – Far Away Love
Maybe she really started to hate me. It’s been a week since I conveyed my「love」 with a letter. Even though she used to talk with me every recess, that also stopped yesterday.
It was as if the Risa inside my heart suddenly disappeared, leaving a big hole behind. My chest started to hurt. Before I knew about it, unstoppable tears started flooding. I wiped the tears that had dropped onto the table with a handkerchief and rubbed the skin around my eyes with it. My tears had overflowed so much it was as if my eyes had dried out and my heart was slowly withering.
Maybe Risa just thought of me as another friend? Is it weird that I am yearning for Risa?
I thought love was all happiness and sweet feelings, but for it to be this heart breaking and painful…
Maybe I won’t be able to go back to being friends with Risa. Those happy moments are like a fleeting dream, and are leaving me with hopelessness that I can’t do anything about. Even with all these emotions, my voice will never reach her, I felt those were my overflowing tears. Please wait. Don’t leave me alone. ―Although I try to say that, since Risa isn’t by my side anymore she won’t notice my feelings, even if she sits next to me it’s like she’s at a far away place. My tears overflowed so much my handkerchief is soaked.
As if I was an empty husk, days passed like an arrow. The date on my phone showed me that it has been a week since summer vacation had started. There hadn’t been any contact with Risa. Even though I knew she wouldn’t come, on a daily basis I would check on her social media accounts (for example, twitter and stuff). Right now she should be in her club activities,so she won’t update it soon.
The more I think about it, the more I feel like I will fall down in the huge hole in my heart. Once again, I want to go back to the time when we were「friends」and talk with you. I want to laugh together with you. Now that I think about it, I wonder how much warmth have I received from Risa. My heart, which had lost its warmth, started to grow colder and froze like ice. Even though my body is melting even with the AC on, my heart felt cold and numb.
Today too, I saw a dream of having a fun conversation with Risa. I knew that it wasn’t real, since I’ve been having that exact same dream for a while now. When I noticed it, on top of my bed, tears had flowed along my cheeks, and soaked my pillow. The days that won’t return, even including the bad memories, for some reason felt dazzling. All the more with the good memories. “It would have been better if we never met from the start”, even these kind of thoughts had appeared in my head.
The will to gather the scattered fragments of my love, no matter how hard I searched for it in myself, didn’t appear.
The Goddess Loves you.